Do you believe that to be true?.. That your past effects who you are today?
Or IF YOU ALLOW it to, then it does?
Sadly, everyday I let my past rule me. I've been labeled a fat girl my whole life, life experiences and things that I've gone through as a teenager STILL greatly affect me today. Being labeled something your whole life, regardless if you think it to be true.. can really bring you down. I really wish that I could turn that switch off to realize that people don't need to carry around their pasts with them.
Looking back on this year, it really hasn't been a great one. I've lost contact with people that I really loved and lost love for myself. I used to be a fun girl who was up for anything regardless of her weight.. now I love food more than I really love myself. I have no self respect, no self love. I expect to find love.. but I don't even love myself. Maybe I just forgot what it feels like to be happy with myself, to be satisfied with who I am not what I am. Or maybe I'm just lost.
Regardless with what my problems have been this past year, I want to start new. A new year and a new beginning to becoming what I want to be.. I want to be happy and healthy. I don't want to feel tired and have no energy after just waking up in the morning. I'm tired of my clothes being tight. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I'm tired of having to "watch what I wear" because it might make me appear more fat than I already appear. I'm tired of caring that others may think. I'm tired of thinking of my past every day of my life. I'm tired of being known as the fat girl. I am just plain tired of being tired.
So cheers, here's to a fresh start and a new beginning the old fat girl me.
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Wooo! You go girl!!
ReplyDeleteAnd to answer your question, I do believe that your past helps to mold you into the person you become. But I don't think your past makes you into something. I feel like sometimes problems from my past are what holds me back. But when that happens, I try to confront it right then and move on. It's hard to do, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Good Luck to you, may 2009 be your year to reach your goals!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI think the past gets you to where you are at present but you are not set in stone. You can see it, feel it, learn from it and then let it go. What you do in the moment can shape a new mindset and body. Fresh start, fresh view point.
ReplyDeleteRie
Hi. I just found your blog the other night and after reading this post I have to say I could have written it myself a little over a year ago. I just wanted to say "DON'T GIVE UP!"
ReplyDeleteYour a beautiful girl who has alot to offer someone but most importantly you have to take care of yourself before you are able to give to others.
Take your plan one day at a time. Find inspiration where you can rather it be reading blogs, looking at before and after pictures on the net or just trying some new recipes to keep it interesting!!
Most importantly...have faith in your plan and love yourself!! Laugh and learn at your mistakes, but do your best!! There are lots of people that feel the same way you do. I know I did for a long time, but it does get better.
(((HUGS)))